Sorry
by Rose Addams
Summary: Jogan fic, Julian gets kidnapped after telling Logan how he feels.
1. Chapter 1

"You're a douche Logan," Julian snarls at the blonde boy, yanking his arm out of his grip.  
>"Oh, what, you think I like this? You think I'm happy about this?" Logan snaps, grabbing Julian's arm back and pulling him close. "But what exactly <em>do<em> you want me to do Julian? Do you want me to beg? Ask you to stay? Because I'm not going to do that. You should know that."

"No! No, I don't it's just…" Julian looks like he's actually going to say something, instead of arguing, but he stops. "Let go of me Logan."

There is a moment when both boys just stand there, staring at each other, Julian's arm still locked in Logan's tight grip. Julian thinks for a second that Logan won't let him go, he actually thinks that Logan is going to tell him something.

He even opens his mouth. "Jules," he whispers softly.

"Bye Logan," the dark haired boy says firmly, prying Logan's fingers off his arm. He turns, picks up his bag, and leaves.

Logan stands there, looking at the room he shared with Julian.

"Dammit," he mutters, lashing out and kicking the wall. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

He had been so sure he was going to do it. Was sure he was going to tell Julian that he was pretty sure he was in love with him. He didn't though. Had wimped out of it, like he had all the other times he'd tried to tell Julian about his feelings.

And now it was too late. Julian was leaving Dalton to film some big blockbuster that was supposed to be his, 'Big break' and probably not coming back. Why would he bother with school, with his friends, with Logan, when he was nominated for an Oscar, a pretty big possibility after this movie.

Logan sinks onto his bed, his head falling into his hands.

"Why are you such an _idiot,"_ he mutters, not entirely sure if he's talking to himself or to the absent Julian.

"I don't know the answer to why you are, but yes," Derek says, stepping inside the room. "You are."

"Fuck off Derek."

"Oooh touchy," Derek remarks sarcastically.

"Shut up," Logan snarls, glaring up at the other boy.

"No, you shut up and listen. Julian is leaving. Julian. It's _Julian._ I know how you feel about him. Come one man, it's pretty obvious. But you know what's even _more_ obvious? How he feels about you."

"What?" Logan asks, frowning in confusion.

"Julian loves you, you fucking idiot. He has since freshman year, only he's been too nervous to tell you."

"He's not gay though," Logan says, letting his head drop back into his hands. "And anyway, how do you know?" he adds into his palms.

"Look, Julian doesn't know what he is. All he knows is that he likes you. And I really can't believe I'm doing this. Just go out there and get _him_ to tell you. Convince him to stay. He will if you ask. And I know," Derek adds, when Logan looks at him angrily. "That the mighty Logan doesn't beg or whatever. I'm not saying you have to. Just go figure things out between the two of you, and tell him you want him to stay. Got it?"

Normally Logan doesn't like people telling him what to do. He will go out of his way just to disobey them. But this one time he figures it would be good to do what he's told.

He stands up quickly, and is out the door before he realises the flaw in his plan and doubles back.

"Derek?" Logan asks. "What if Julian's already gone?"

"He's not. His cars late, he has to wait outside," Derek replies without looking up from the tv he's turned on.

Logan nods before turning on his heel and running out of the room.

He rushes down the hallway, almost knocking over a freshman. He's panicked that he will get outside and it will be too late, that Julian will be gone, but no, when he gets out the door Julian is sitting on the curb, his suitcase next to him.

"Jules," Logan says, slightly puffed.

Julian looks up, surprised. "Logan? What do you want?"

"I just- I wanted to talk," he says lamely, just as it starts to rain.

Julian frowns up at the sky menacingly. "What about?" he mutters, not looking at Logan.

"Can we go inside?" Logan asks, part procrastinating and part wanting to get out of the wet.

"No," Julian says, his jaw set stubbornly.

But Logan can be just as stubborn. "Fine then," he says, sitting down next to Julian, who slides away.

They sit in silence for a few seconds. Logan is trying to figure out how to say what he wants to. This seemed so much easier when he was just trying to find Julian, but now that he's here, he can't think of what to say.

In the end it's Julian that speaks first. "What do you want to say Logan?"

"I just- I wanted to say that…. That I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't realise, and I'm sorry that you couldn't tell me and I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you and… I'm sorry. I was…. I was an idiot, and I have no idea how hard it's been for you, because these past few months, with... with _us_, I've found it so hard thinking you didn't… didn't _feel_ the same way as me and that… that you've had to go through that for like, three years or something, and," Logan realises he's not making much sense and stops, cursing himself silently for not being able to get the words out. This isn't like him.

"What- what are you talking about Logan?" Julian asks, but Logan _thinks_ that he sounds a little bit hopeful.

"I'm talking- I'm talking about _us_, and how I- I like you Jules. I really, _really_ like you, and not in a friend way if that's what you think, and Derek told me that you feel the same way, so don't try and deny it."

Julian's voice sounds oddly breathy when he talks. "I wasn't going to deny it."

"Oh. Well… good," Logan says, looking at Julian.

Julian looks back at him.

"I think my cars here," he whispers when the sound of tyres crunching on grave become apparent.

"Are you going to leave?" Logan asks, and his voice is even softer then Julian's.

"Do you- do you want me to?" Julian says, and the fear in his voice is obvious.

"No. God no."

"Oh," Julian says softly, and then Logan is kissing him.

All of Julian's breath slides out as Logan pulls him close, moving his lips gently against Julian's.

When Logan pulls back he smiles at Julian.

Julian smiles back, slightly cautiously.

The car horn beeps.

Julian stands up, opens the door to the car and tells the driver to get lost. He's not going anywhere.

And then Logan is grabbing Julian's hand, and there running down the hallways, both soaking wet, and they make it to Julian's room just in time, and _thank God _Derek's left, because as soon as they close the door Logan is pushing Julian onto the bed and lying on top of him, kissing him.

"Lo," Julian whimpers as the blonde boy presses their hips together. Logan's shirt is wet and Julian unbuttons it, his fingers fumbling with the buttons on the other boys' shirt.

"Baby," Logan groans as Julian kisses his neck.

Julian pulls back for a second. "Baby. That's what you're calling me?"

"What would you prefer?" Logan asks, smiling. "Gorgeous? Darling? Sweetie? Princess?"

Logan whispers the last word in Julian's ear, smirking when the brunette shivers.

Julian kisses Logan lightly, wrapping his arms around his…boyfriend? Is that what Logan is, is that what they are? Boyfriends. It seems so…serious. But Julian loves Logan, loves him so much it scares him. So. He wraps his arms around his boyfriend, sighing in contentment.

Logan opens his mouth, is about to say something, when someone knocks on the door.

"Logan? You in here?"

"Yeah," Logan responds. Then, "Don't come in!" when the doorknob starts to turn.

"It's Bailey."

"I know," Logan yells back, rolling his eyes at Julian who stifles a laugh.

"Oh right. Well, we have a Warblers rehearsal. Like, now," Bailey says.

"Now? I'm kind of busy now."

Julian shoves his fist in his mouth to stop from laughing.

"It's desperate," Bailey shouts. "I dunno why we have to be there now, but apparently something's happened. Harvey says whoever doesn't come is off the team."

"Okay. I'll be there. Probably," Logan says, listening until he hears Bailey's footsteps.

"Are you going to go?" Julian asks as Logan stands up, pulling on a pair of underpants and jeans.

"Maybe. I think I have to. I'm actually kind of enjoying being a Warbler at the moment- if I don't show, I'm off. They're all looking for an excuse to kick me off. I've ditched them too many times. It shouldn't be long though. You can stay here if you want?" Logan says the last bit hopefully, but Julian shakes his head.

"Nah, sorry. I have to phone my agent. I just ditched the car that was taking me to film a major movie, remember?"

"Oh right," Logan says, buttoning his shirt up. "You regret it?"

"Not a bit," Julian grins. "Anyway, they're not gonna cast anyone else. The only reason this movie is going to do well is because _I'm _in it."

"Modest," Logan laughs, nodding. "But probably true."

He leans over, kissing Julian.

"I love you," Julian whispers.

Logan freezes for a second. He doesn't know what to say, doesn't know how to respond to this.

"I- I. Yeah," he stammers before fleeing the room and feeling like an idiot.

This isn't him. This isn't like him, the being unsure, and the doubting. It's not usual. But then again, Julian isn't usual, is not normal, is pretty much the opposite of usual in Logan's eyes. And maybe it's because, for the first time in his life, he believes the words. He's used them before, flung them around to get people to give him what he wants, but never in his life has he meant those three words as much as he does at the moment. Maybe that's why it's so hard to say, why he couldn't get the words out. He hopes that Julian realises that.

Logan is the last one to get to the Warblers rehearsal. When he walks in everyone glares at him, and he can tell that they're annoyed that he has actually showed up, he can tell that they all wish he wasn't there so that they can kick him out of the Warblers.

The only people that look mildly happy to see him are the twins and Bailey.

"Logan!" Ethan says, waving him over happily. Logan walks over cautiously, sitting next to Ethan and receiving scowls from all of the Windsor's, just as Greg Harvey and Sylvia Medel stand up.

"Okay guys," Greg says, rubbing his hands together. "We just received a call from the organisers of regional's. They have decided to move the competition date forward. Four weeks. Making it," he raises his voice so that he can be heard over the talking that has broken out, "next weekend."

There is a chorus of yells.

"That's so unfair!" David yells, standing up. Logan agrees with him.

"Boys, boys!" Sylvia yells out. "Now I know this is going to be hard. But we can do it. We called you all here today to practise. And that's what we're going to do. But first," she pauses and looks at Logan for a second. "We will be choosing soloists. Now, me and Greg have thought for a long time about who will solo, and we would both like it if Logan would sing."

There is silence for a second. Then someone laughs.

"You're kidding me, right? Is no one remembering what happened last year at regional's?"

Logan's not sure who said it; he's still too in shock. Why would they choose him? Like that person just said, he bailed on them last year, all because he didn't feel like it. Do Greg and Sylvia want a mutiny?

"Quiet!" Greg bellows. "Now obviously this all depends on whether Logan actually wants to solo, but we both think that he has grown a lot since last year, and that his voice is exactly what we need to win. Okay?"

There is some discontent mumbling, but no one speaks out again.

"So Logan," Sylvia says in her soft voice. "Do you want to sing solo?"

"I- sure," Logan says, nodding his head and resisting the urge to give Wes, who has began kicking his chair, the finger.


	2. Chapter 2

Logan's phone rings. For the fourth time in the past ten minutes. He checks the caller id. Derek. Again.

"Sorry," he mutters, pressing decline call and trying to ignore the angry looks he is getting from the other Warblers as he joins back in with their vocal warm up. He turns his phone to silent, and they continue to sing scales.

They've just started practising the song that the group will be singing when David's phone starts ringing.

"Logan!" he says. "It's Derek! Dude, answer it, he's started phoning us now."

Logan nods, surprised. David chucks him the phone, and he answers it, stepping out of the circle.

"Derek?" he says, walking outside and leaning against a wall. "What the fuck man, you know we have regional's-"

"Thank God I got you," Derek says, and Logan frowns at his worried tone. "Why weren't you answering your phone?"

"Busy. What- what is it?"

"It's Jules."

Logan's stomach drops, his whole body begins to go cold as Derek explains. Julian has been filming scenes for the movie, when someone had burst on set. They had a gun. No one could stop them. They shot Julian in the stomach and then ran. Julian was in hospital, critical but stable. He wants Logan.

"I'm coming," Logan says when Derek has finished explaining. He's already started walking towards the road before realising that he has David's phone. "Derek, I'm gonna call you back in a second. I want you to get Han to give him directions to the hospital. Okay?" he hangs up without waiting for Derek to answer.

As he walks back inside, he realises something. This will be the second year in a row that he has abandoned the Warblers at regionals. But this time he has a reason.

"Logan? What is it?" Ethan asks when he rushes back in.

"It's- it's Julian. I'm sorry, I have to- I have to leave I'm… I'm sorry it's-"

"What the fuck?"

"You can't leave us again!"

"You're a bastard Logan."

"Reed knows my parts. He can sing them," Logan says. "I'm sorry it's just- I'm sorry."

He runs out.

When Logan arrives at the hospital he isn't allowed to see Julian at first. They tell him its family only, obviously think that he is just some obsessed fan like the hordes of people that crowd outside.

He tells them that his fathers the senator and that Julian is his best friend and they better fucking let him in.

They oblige.

Julian looks like shit. He's pale and sick looking. Duh. He's been shot.

"Logan!" Julian looks happy to see him and tries to sit up slightly, grimacing.

"How are you?" Logan says softly, pulling out the chair next to Julian's bed.

Julian rolls his eyes. "Fine. They're just over reacting."

"Jules! Someone _shot_ you!" Logan's eyes widen.

"I knew you'd react like that," Julian grins. "Who told you anyway? I thought you were at regional's, and I haven't told anyone yet."

"Derek," Logan explains. "Well. Han really. He saw on the news, went to phone me but he didn't have my number, so he phoned Derek. In the end Derek had to phone David to get me to answer. I came straight here."

"So you left regional's?" Julian asks.

Logan laughs a little bit. "Of course."

"Sorry. I knew how much you wanted to win." Julian looks sad at the thought of Logan missing out on the competition.

"God, don't apologise. It's not your fault."

This doesn't cheer Julian up. "It sort of is though," he says, looking around. "I got a note."

Logan raises and eyebrow. "Right…?"

"It- it said, _We know about your boy. Stop._ I… I ignored it. We have to be more careful Logan. They'd- they'd obviously seen us and… they were angry."

"Oh my God. I'm so sorry," Logan breathes, mimicking Julian's soft tone.

"_Don't._ It's not your fault. We just need to be more careful, 'kay?"

Logan nods.

Julian has been back at Dalton for three weeks. Logan has hardly left his side since.

Everyone knows what happened to Julian, and as a result all of the Warblers are being far nicer to Logan then they normally are, especially considering how Logan treats them most of the time. They did end up winning with Reed singing lead though, so that might have something to do with it.

"Lo?" Julian says from where he is standing in the doorway. "Can I come in?"

Logan nods, smiling and moving over so that the other boy can sit on his bed with him. He wraps his arm around Julian, kissing him softly. Julian smiles against his lips and lets Logan roll on top of him.

Julian pulls back after a few minutes. "It's raining," he says softly, looking towards the window.

"Mmm?" Logan says, pulling Julian back to him.

"It was raining when you told me how you felt," Julian whispers, so softly that Logan almost doesn't hear.

He pauses, considers that for a second before standing up and saying, "Come one. Let's go."

"Wait, where are we going?" Julian asks, letting Logan drag him to his feet and out the door.

Logan doesn't respond, just keeps walking until he's reached the door. He pushes it open and steps outside into the rain. Julian hesitates for a second, his eyes flicking towards the sky before he follows Logan.

Julian laughs, spinning around in a circle and tilting his head back so rain falls in his mouth. Logan grins at him, grabbing his arm and pulling him in. Julian crashes into him, and Logan stumbles back a few steps, only just managing to stay on his feet.

"I'm gonna marry you someday," Logan says quietly against Julian's lips. He feels the other boy stiffen against his embrace and continues. "Not now. Not even soon. Just- someday. I want to marry you."

"Yes," Julian says, his voice shaky.

"Yes what?" Logan whispers.

"Yes I'll marry you," Julian says, kissing Logan. "Not now. But someday."


	3. Chapter 3

_Five years later._

"Logan?"

Logan looks up clutching his drink.

"I told you it was him!" Kurt Hummel says to his boyfriend Blaine Anderson.

Blaine looks sad.

"How are you Logan?" he asks, reaching down to the boy on the floor.

"Shit. What did you expect?" Logan replies, letting Blaine pull him to his feet.

"_Run!" someone yells, trying to drag Logan away._

"_No!" he shouts, fighting their grip. "Julian- I need to help Jules!"_

"_It's too late!" the person shrieks at him. "They've set off a bomb. We gotta get out, we gotta go!"_

_Logan tries to fight them, but they have been caught up in the sea of running screaming people and he can't get loose, he is pushed out the door by the mob of people._

Blaine and Kurt take Logan back to their small apartment in the very centre of New York.

They sit him down on the couch, hand him a coffee, a plate of Kurt's famous cookies and a icepack for his eye where he had been punched after hitting a guy for saying something about Julian Larson, before sitting down opposite Logan. Their hands are linked, and Logan can't help smiling at how happy and _in love_ they seem.

Blaine catches him looking and grins slightly.

"So why- why are you in New York?" Kurt asks hesitantly.

Logan shrugs. "Julian loved New York."

"_And the breaking news of tonight is the explosion in downtown LA, at the same location teen superstar, Julian Larson, was filming scenes for his new movie. At the current moment we are unsure if anyone is injured or- I'm sorry, we just got a phone call from our reporter on scene."_

_There is a pause while the news reporter listens to the words coming through her headpiece._

"_Okay, so we have four injured, two dead and, shockingly, Julian Larson has been kidnapped."_

"So what have you been doing lately?' Kurt asks softly, leaning against Blaine.

Logan shrugs. "Moving around. Going places, drifting really."

"Have you kept in touch with anyone?" Blaine asks, wrapping his arm around Kurt's shoulders.

"What, with the Warblers? Why would any of them want to talk to me?"

"_We have just found out now, three weeks after the explosion that killed three people (one of the injured sadly passed away in hospital last night) and the kidnapping of Julian Larson, that in the young actors trailer was a note with the words, 'You brought this upon yourself' written on it, in what disturbingly appears to be blood. This note must have been planted after the fires that followed the explosion as it had not been damaged at all by the flames."_

"Congratulations, by the way," Logan says after a while, gesturing at the identical rings on Blaine and Kurt's ring fingers.

Kurt smiles, and it is almost radiant. "Thanks. Blaine proposed."

"Of course," Logan mutters to himself. Then he says, "Look, I better go," before Blaine can speak.

Kurt laughs. "Nup. No way. You're staying here tonight."

Logan raises and eyebrow. "There's only one bedroom."

"There's also this handy little thing called a couch," Kurt says, mimicking Logan's tone.

Logan can't help smiling a bit.

"Come on," Blaine says, standing up. "Logan help me get sheets for the couch."

Logan follows him to the cupboard in the hallway.

"How are you really Logan?" Blaine asks when they are out of Kurt's hearing.

"It's- it's hard. Without him…it's hard." Logan says, his breathing shaky. He was expecting this though, had seen Blaine staring at him all evening, gauging how 'okay' he is.

"What about Derek? I know," he says when Logan's about to butt in., "that it's not the same, but you guys were always close and I can't imagine he'd ditch you."

"Well he did," Logan says, with a shrug.

He's surprised Blaine doesn't know about Derek, about him killing himself and his girlfriend two years ago. He supposes it was pretty hushed up, and it's not like any old Stuarts would be in contact with Blaine or Kurt.

"We're meeting up with some of the Warblers tomorrow. You- you should come. I mean, we see them all pretty frequently, but you haven't them since school right?" Blaine says, looking slightly hopeful.

Logan stares at him incredulously.

_The police have given up looking. But he's still out there, Julian, Logan's Julian is still missing._

"_We have to find him," Logan says, practically sobbing._

"_It's over Logan," a pretty brown haired girl with a slightly larger nose then average that Logan sort of recognises from somewhere says. "He's gone. You have to accept that. I'm so sorry."_

"_No, no, no," Logan moans._

"_I'm sorry," the girl repeat, and she is crying with him now. "I'm so sorry Logan."_

_He pushes her off. It's easy, but what's not easy is the overwhelming feeling of darkness that is descending on him, making him feel as if his insides are being ripped apart._

When Blaine, Kurt and Logan arrive at the café the former Warblers had decided to meet at, silence falls when they all spot Logan.

The first to talk is Evan. "Logan! It's been ages."

Logan lets his face fall into its usual smirk.

"Rachel!" Kurt says happily when he notices his old school friend. "And- Jesse?" he adds, slightly unsure.

"Wes bumped into us and invited us to meet with you guys- we just finished a matinee on Broadway," Jesse St. James explains whilst Rachel and Kurt hug.

Memories of Rachel trying to comfort Logan after he found out about the search for Julian being stopped assault Logan. He hadn't recognised her at the time, but her face is so familiar now.

It's easy to forget the events of the past five years when Logan is surrounded by Warblers, listening to them tell stories about their lives now, hearing Rachel, Jesse and Reed, who all ended up in the same musical, tell tales about Broadway.

They've been there for around an hour when Logan's phone he rings. He glances at the caller id. Drops it.

Blaine catches the phone. He looks at the name that has appeared on the little screen.

"It's a joke," he says, handing it back to Logan. "A sick joke. Just don't answer it Lo, it'll be some-" but Logan has already answered the phone.

"Hello?" he says, voice shaking.

"Logan? Oh my God, it's you. I was so scared," the voice on the other end is sobbing and so, so familiar. "Oh my God. Logan."

The caller id was right. It's not a joke.

"J-Jules?" Logan stammers, and the crying increases.

"Oh my God," Julian Larson repeats, "Logan."

Everyone is staring at Logan, open-mouthed.

"Jules, where are you? We'll get the police and come get-"

"No!" Julian cuts him off, sounding panicked. "No, not the police! They'll- they'll kill you if you get the police."

"Okay. Okay. What do you need me to do?"

"Just- just come and get me. Please. I'm at-" Julian pauses, before reciting a address in New Jersey.

"Okay, we'll be there soon. Stay on the phone. I- I love you," Logan says.

"I love you too," Julian replies, crying so heavily Logan can hardly understand him.

He pulls the phone away from his ear for a second.

"It's- it's Jules," he explains. "I have to… have to get him but I don't have… a car, can I-"

"Yes," Jesse says abruptly. "Take mine."

Ethan stands up. "I'm coming."

Dwight nods. "Me too. There might be demons."

Logan nods, almost running from the café. He glances back to see Ethan, Evan, Dwight and Blaine following him.

It's lucky that Jesse's car is big, a massive four wheel drive, totally unsuitable for the city, but still. It will be crowded with Julian in the car, but Logan doesn't care, is just listening to the sounds of Julian crying. Occasionally he murmurs something, and Logan will respond, but mostly they just stay on the line, hearing the sounds of each other's breathing.

Blaine drives with Dwight next to him directing from a map from years ago.

When Logan sees Julian, after almost an hour of driving, he yells. He doesn't even know what he says, he just knows that his mouth is open and noise is coming out and that he's jumping out of the car before it's properly stopped and he almost falls over and then he almost gets _run_ over, but he doesn't care because it's _Julian._ Julian. Julian mother-fucking Larson is in his arms and kissing him and Logan doesn't give a fuck that Julian is pale and covered in dirt and that he stinks, he only cares about the feeling of Julian in his arms, of Julian's lips on his, the taste of Julian's tears mixed with his and how Julian is crushing Logan to him, even though Logan is generally the one doing the holding. And eventually he is aware of the cars that have to drive around them because they are standing in the middle of the road, but he doesn't even let go of Julian, they sort of do an awkward shuffle so that they are standing on the grass next to the road.

He doesn't know how long they stand there.

Julian pulls back first, and in a way Logan is glad that it didn't have to be him, because he doesn't think he would have had the willpower to let go.

"I love you," Julian whispers, brushing his lips lightly over Logan's.

Logan just nods, can't seem to speak.

In the end it's Julian that takes his hand and leads him to the car where everyone waits.

Ethan, Evan, Dwight and Blaine all take turns to hug Julian, before getting in the car.

Logan keeps his arm wrapped firmly around Julian as they get in the car. It's squashed, with four of them in the backseat, but Logan doesn't notice.

"We should phone the police," Blaine says when they've been driving for ten minutes.

"They said not to," Logan replies cautiously, looking at Julian.

"We're far enough away now though. I doubt they have anyway of hearing us. And anyway, we can just phone when we get back to New York."

Julian nods at what Blaine has just said. "Yeah. It'll be fine."

Logan has time to smile at Julian and press a kiss to his forehead before the car explodes.

"_It is with great sadness that this evening, five young men, none of them older then 25 have all been killed in a car explosion, amongst them, Logan Wright, son of the senator and actor Julian Larson, who, prior to this, had been missing for five years. Friends of the victims that died in the bomb say that Logan Wright received a call from Julian Larson, and him and four other men drove to pick up the kidnapped boy immediately. Police have told us that this is most definitely not an accident- the bomb was planted in the car and triggered to go off at the press of a button. They also believe that the group of people responsible for this heinous crime are also the ones behind the kidnapping and assumed torture of the actor. A note was left on the scene of the crime, written in the same handwriting as the note that was left five years ago, when Larson was kidnapped._

"_It read, 'We told you not to get the police.'"_


End file.
